Sunday, March 1, 2015

Paradox

As wheels pick up speed beneath me and launch me into space; I feel the web of past and future tightening around me. Left behind a husband of two decades, teenage kids daughter and son in that order, who need the presence of a mom! Yet, they are behind me now. This journey is for them without them!

Heart pounding in my throat, I look to the blue space around me... It's so contradictory !!! Calm blue skies and magnificiant cloud formations with late August sun's golden rays, an indicator of the new journey that I have embarked on? I would like to see it that way ... it's so symbolic and motivating from that perspective. At this tender age of Forty Nine leaving behind a successful career and stepping on to an equally challenging carrer overseas is the greatest risk of my life! As the white bird glides into blue skies, taking me closer to my destination I feel very vulnerable of being alone, of being close to Fifty, of being away from loved ones lonly and alone, of being am I doing the right thing? It great to say move out of your comfort zone - but actually do it that to International level? Oh! I am so scared trust me and nervous andwhen an airhostess offers me refreshments I gulp them down in seconds ... and looking for more. My co passengers were amused and helpful in forwarding my requests to airhostess! mind you its not that I am flying first time but I was so enormed by the decesion that I have taken --- It sunk in NOW. What I miss for next 365 days and more? My husband who loves to flirt with me and with whome my journey of Twenty Years  seems like 20 months? My best friends and motivators my 17 Year old daughter and 16 year son. A life. More than looking at peaceful magnificiant cloud formations I see what I left behind --- family who needs me as much as I need them... Is it worth .. this journey I have embarked upon...??? .....

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